Program Imago Days 2023

 

PRE CONFERENCE-WORKSHOP "THE 15 COMMITMENTS" With MAYA KOLLMAN, May 3rd-4th 2023 - You Can Find Further Information Here.

 

Friday, May 5th

01.00 pm

 

Registration

       

02.00 pm

 

Official opening & welcome

 

02.30 pm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Low-Sex and Sexless Couples - The Rediscovery of Pleasure"

Speaker: Dr. Tammy Nelson (USA)

Talk & Discussion

in English (with interpretation into German)

 

Lack of desire or desire discrepancy is the number one issue that brings couples into sex therapy. The issue of low libido

or mismatched libido can be challenging for therapists, as its origin can be systemic in nature and may not be treatable in a

single session or with homework assignments. Desire issues can be caused by relationship problems, anatomical issues,

medication, illness, stress, exhaustion, orgasmic dysfunction, performance problems and put simply, bad sex. It is not

pathological to avoid disappointing sex, in fact it may be a sign of good judgment. This lecture will focus on the low sex

and no sex couples who present for treatment and discuss why current treatment models may not work. We will focus on

three clinical strategies for desire discrepancies in relationships, 1) the crisis stage of resentment, betrayal and trauma,

including affairs and 2) the integration of healing from pleasure disorders, 3) and creating a vision for the relationship that

includes erotic recovery and an updated monogamy agreement. Within these three strategies there are interventions and

tools to increase pleasure and decrease anxiety around sex.  

 

Learning Objectives

  • Participants will learn how couples struggling with desire issues are really having problems with pleasure resistance,
    pleasure avoidance or pleasure rejection and how control, betrayal, trust and identity issues affect eroticism in sexual
    partnerships
  • Participants will define the most current treatment interventions for arousal dysfunction, desire issues, betrayal recovery
    and trauma treatment in sex and couples therapy
  • Participants will explore the terms erotic recovery, sexual empathy, monogamy agreements and review core interventions
    for renewing low and no desire relationships, reviewing strategies for renewing desire in low and no desire couples.

Participants will be eligible for the certified sex and couples therapist designation offered by Integrative Sex Therapy Institute as well
as the certified sex therapist certification offered by AASECT by attending this lecture.

 

04.00 pm

 

Coffee break

 

04.30 pm -

06.30 pm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 parallel Workshops:

 

Workshop A

"Low-Sex and Sexless Couples - The Rediscovery of Pleasure"

Facilitator: Dr. Tammy Nelson (USA)

in English (without German interpretation)

 

How much sex is too much, and how much is not enough? This workshop will uncover where lack of desire originates in sexless

and low-sex couples and how to treat desire discrepancy using contemporary interventions and treatment models.

Through real case studies, we’ll focus on three areas that are often at the root of low- or no-sex marriages—pleasure resistance,

pleasure avoidance, and pleasure rejection—and the most effective strategies to help couples achieve sexual empathy and

long-term erotic recovery. You’ll discover:

  • Techniques to work with couples around desire vs. arousal and performance vs. pleasure
  • The ins and outs of helping couples create monogamy agreements and other interventions for renewing low- and no-desire relationships
  • How attachment-based vs. individuation-based approaches compare when treating sexual dysfunction in couples
  • Clinical strategies for healing arousal dysfunction, renewing and rekindling desire, and integrating a trauma model into
    your work
  • How to address the three areas of pleasure disorder, and why they often involve issues around betrayal, trust, identity,
    and self-esteem

Learning Objectives:

  1. Apply techniques to work with couples around desire vs. arousal and performance vs. pleasure.
  2. Assess the ins and outs of helping couples create monogamy agreements and other interventions for renewing low-  and
    no-desire relationships.
  3. Describe how attachment-based vs. individuation-based approaches compare when treating sexual dysfunction in couples.
  4. Use clinical strategies for healing arousal dysfunction, renewing and rekindling desire, and integrating a trauma model
    into your work.
  5. Describe how to address the three areas of pleasure disorder, and why they often involve issues around betrayal, trust,
    identity, and self-esteem.

 

Note:  This course includes AASECT CEs that can be applied toward the Certified Sex Therapist designation, as well as CEs

toward the ISTI Certified Sex and Couples Therapist certification. For more information see www.IntegrativeSextherapyInstitute.com.

 

 

Workshop B

„Dialogue between the sheets. Let’s talk about sex, Baby.”

Facilitator: Eva Wessely (AUT)

in German (without English interpretation)

 

How do I say what I want, when I don´t know what I need? Often, we must have clarity ourselves in order to speak with our

partners about sex. Sometimes it is easier to talk about fantasies to someone else who doesn´t share a bed with us.

I want to take you on a journey of discovery on different levels: verbal, non-verbal and sensual.

I want you to invite you to experiment, to explore your own erotic space, to speak about fantasies and discover new things

about the landscape of your own and your lover’s body. Also, ideas how to utilize all this in your clinical practice.

Allow yourself to be surprised and seduced.

 

 

Workshop C

Neosexualities. Cultural change of sexualities and types of relationship“

Facilitator: Johannes Wahala (AUT)

in German (without English interpretation)

 

In Western industrial societies today, sexual relations are determined by four discourses: The liberal discourse of the 1960s

and 1970s, which swept away sexual taboos. The self-determination discourse of the 1980s, which civilised the free love

market created by liberalisation. The discourse on the primacy of heterosexuality of the 1980s and 1990s, which led to

homosexuality as a diagnosis of a psychosexual disorder being eliminated from the ICD-10. The present-day gender

discourse, which questions the traditional dichotomy of the sexes, reflects the diversity of gender identities and deconstructs

the construct of the binary model.

 

This led to - as renowned sexologist Volkmar Sigusch calls it - the "Neosexual Revolution", in which a wide variety of sexual

orientations and gender identities has become reality, which induced a variety of sexual experiences as well as various types

of partnership and family.

 

 

This workshop wants to raise awareness of the diversity of sexual orientations and gender identities as well as specific issues

affecting LGBTIQ* people. It addresses the willingness to reflect on one's own hetero or gay or cis-normative imprints and

presuppositions as well as an approach to gender that transcends a constructed binary model. 

 

Saturday, May 6th 2023

 

 

09:00 am

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Imago Community Conversations. Communologue – The Imago Group Experience"

 

This offer is an opportunity for participants to share their views on four topics, in the course of four so called

Communologues. A Communologue is an Imago group dialogue (coined from „community“ and „dialogue“), which is

moderated by a team leader. The first round starts with an introductory sentence stem which each participant completes

and then goes on to introduce their own ideas on the topic. Everybody has the same amount of time for their contribution.

The group leader mirrors a summary of every contribution. During the following two rounds, participants reflect on what

they have heard and further explore the topic. Communologue can be used for conflict resolution, team building,

brainstorming and project planning processes.

 

For every topic, there are eight spaces available in the inner circle for active participation. Everybody else participates

passively in an outer circle, supporting the dialogue process through their listening and their presence.

Communologues # 1, 2 & 4 will be conducted in German, Communologue # 3 in English (without interpretation)

 

The four Communologue topics are:

  1.  Working with Couples recovering from Affairs
  2. Sexuality – From Cradle to Grave
  3. Polyamorous Couples
  4. Sex as a Topic of Conflict
 

10.30 am

 

Coffee break

 

 

11.00 am

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sexuality is a way of being” (A. Lowen) How can couples enjoy an authentic sexual relationship full of vitality?

Speakers: Elisabeth Gatt-Iro and Stefan Gatt (AUT)

Presentation & Discussion

In German (with interpretation into English)

 

Many couples long for experiencing loving intimacy and pleasure beyond the romantic phase of their relationship.

At the same time, this is one of the main challenges for long term couples. If they keep working on this issue, they

will inevitably touch on their vulnerability, old wounds and what appear to be dead ends with no way out. If they face

the challenges of the occasional trip to hell and back together, they will eventually be rewarded with an intimate, loving

physical connection that enables them to flourish both individually and as a couple and live to their full potential.

Based on various theoretical and practical concepts illustrating the correlation between deep longing and immense

fear, Elisabeth and Stefan will address how having been shamed in early life results in us sabotaging our vitality later

in life and in our relationship, how comfort zones and neediness do not promote growth and how all this relates to our

best self and our authentic vitality. In line with Alexander Lowen, according to who „Sexuality is not a part time activity,

but a way of being”, they would like to inspire their audience to bursts of courage. The prerequisite being that people

trust themselves and their bodies and dare open up to their loved one, addressing conflicts in order to eventually grow

and flourish together.

 

 

12.30 pm

 

Lunch break

 

 

02.00 pm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Listening to Love: Slow Sex"

Speaker: Yella Cremer (GER)

Presentation & Discussion

in German (with interpretation into English)

 

Slow Sex can last for hours, creates trust and closeness, nourishes the soul. Slow Sex does not need the right mood

or an erection to start with, it's always good, it enables spiritual experiences, strengthens monogamous relationships,

is relaxed and stress free. What’s more, Slow Sex is a required skill for couples who want a happy and fulfilled sex life

in the long term.

 

With Slow Sex, couples can use sex as source of energy in their daily lives, they learn a way to integrate sex easily into

their busy lives. All this happens in an easy, relaxed way, you don't need to turn your life upside down, train for years or

follow a new guru. Slow Sex offers an exit to the sexual matrix of "higher, faster, further" to more sensuality and

consciousness, it deeply changes your love and relationship. It adds awareness and ease to your sexual connection.

Good sex does not happen by accident but is a decision. And it's possible to learn and practise good sex.

 

Many people have the experience that sex was plenty and easy at the beginning of a relationship and then started to

dribble out, often stopping completely eventually. This creates doubts: Am I incapable of good sex? Did I choose

the wrong partner? What if we or our partners weren’t wrong and incapable, instead, what if we needed to change the

way we think about sex? Everybody expects sex to just work, because we like sex and we love our partner. Wouldn't

it be much wiser to think of sex like something we learn like a new language, a new instrument?

According to Yella Cremer, “Intimacy happens all by itself when we are really present in the moment”. Presence is one

of the key elements to Slow Sex, paired with relaxation to enable the body to sense what's actually happening during sex.

The talk introduces the key principles of Slow Sex and why they matter, the workshop will shine a light on necessary steps

of learning and unlearning habits and introduce practical exercises.

 

 

03.30 pm

 

Coffee break

 

 

04.00 pm -

06.00 pm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three parallel workshops:

 

Workshop D

"Sexuality is a way of being” (A. Lowen)

How can couples enjoy an authentic sexual relationship full of vitality?

Facilitators:  Mag.a Elisabeth Gatt-Iro & Mag. Dr. Stefan Gatt

in German (without interpretation into English)

  

Based on the speakers‘ presentation earlier in the day, this workshop will emphasise vitality, embodied presence and sexuality.

With dialogues, body exercises and meditations, we will focus on our bodies and their intuitive wisdom. We will explore

whatever gets in the way in step-by-step process that enables everybody to live the kind of sexuality that they yearn for – on

their own or in relationships.

 

Workshop E

"Learning Slow Sex: A path to deepen Intimacy and Connection”

Facilitator: Yella Cremer (GER)

in German (without interpretation into English)

 

Based on the presentation of Yella Cremer earlier in the day, her workshop will shine a light on necessary steps of learning and unlearning habits and introduce practical exercises.

  

Workshop F

"What is Intimacy?"

Facilitator: Maya Kollman, MA (USA)

in English (without German translation)

 

This conference is about Imago and Sex. Does intimacy have to include sex, or is the tenderness of a gaze or a deep

conversation what describes what you experience as intimacy? Is it both? Are there other ways to explore intimacy?

Is the cultural pressure to be sexual helping us or hurting us? Is sex overrated?  Is our cultural hyper focus on sex a first world

problem? Is sex self absorption and personal pleasure at a high level at a time when we need to be less focused on ourselves

and more conscious of what the world needs from us - OR - is it a vehicle to help us be more connected with ourselves so we

have the energy to contribute?

 

In this Workshop, Maya will explore what it means for you to be truly intimate with another person. This will be a unique time

for you to do some deep reflection. She will also explore what intimacy means through the life of a person, whether one

chooses a single life, having serial monogamous relationships, multiple partners at the same time, living in a long term

relationship, or continuing to be intimate at an older age even after the loss of a partner. In addition to you having a chance

to explore your own idea of intimacy, Maya will present ways to work with couples to help them understand their different

experience of closeness and find a way to meet one another that is both satisfying and growth producing.

 

 

 

06.00 pm

 

Accolades during champagne reception with finger food buffet 

 

 

Sunday, May 7th

09:00 am

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"From Morals to Jewels – The new Freedom to be faithful"

Speakers: Dr.in Sabine Bösel und Roland Bösel

Presentation and Discussion

in German (with interpretation into English)

  

Are you a back number if you consider sex as a matter between two people? Exclusive intimacy, often referred to as

"fidelity", is old. At the same time, is it also a counter movement to polyamorous ways of living that have become popular

and signify freedom for some and a destructive compromise for others? The novelty in our day and age is that when it comes

to fidelity, it is no longer the church, family traditions or neighbours that have the final say – but the couple. Therefore, exclusive

intimacy has become a present you give to yourself and your partner by your own choice. In a liberalised society, especially, this

present turns out to be a stabilising treasure, a true blessing for relationships.

 

 

11.00 am

 

Coffee break

 

 

11.30 am

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Exploring Love & Sexuality"

Speaker: Dr. Bettina Fraisl

Presentation & Discussion

In German (with interpretation into English)

 

Couples long for connection and passion. In long term relationships, challenges with regard to sexuality are a sign of

‘normal‘, i.e. healthy, processes. As in other areas, a couple’s relationship dynamics also become apparent in their physical

interaction. How they deal with it and talk about it will, among other factors, determine the further course of their relationship.

 

Often, however, speaking about sexuality is an endeavour full of obstacles: What do I perceive, from myself, from my partner?

What am I sensing, what of it can I verbalize and what can I expect my partner to put up with?

What nourishes my longing for physical intimacy and what inhibits it?

What kind of pleasure do I desire?

What is it about lack of desire and why, in heterosexual relationships, does it mostly affect women?

 

The search for answers to questions like these produces more questions:

What is the usual condition of sexuality in our minds? Does the mind react to the body or vice versa? How do scientific findings

and societal attributions and conditions relate to this? Participants are invited to join in this exploration.

 

 

01.00 am

 

Closing with Maya Kollman